Momma Mayhem

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We Now Return You to Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

So much of my life for the last eight months has focused on doing what I needed to do to get healthy and get pregnant. I started eating healthier. I stopped smoking. I took vitamins. I greatly reduced my alcohol intake. I exercised and lost weight. I got aggressive with maintaining my blood glucose levels, dropping my A1C from 8.5 to 6.1 and my fasting levels from 200+ to a steady 110. I did everything right.

My husband & I began trying to conceive as soon as the doctor gave us the all-clear in December. I really thought I’d be pregnant by January, because fertility has never been my problem. However, for the first time in my life, I was PLANNING on getting pregnant, consciously trying to conceive a child, and Fate seemed to be laughing at me and giving me the finger all at once. So many things were thrown at us in the first few months of trying – the little guy’s illness, having to move, and the little guy’s subsequent kidney diagnosis all conspired to make conception impossible.

Finally, we decided to stop deliberately trying. We knew I had to conceive by late March/early April in order for me to be able to fly in August, and if I wasn’t pregnant by then, we’d have to start taking precautions so I DIDN’T get pregnant until after our vacation in August. Lo & behold, in late April, I missed my period, and on May 1st, we announced to the world that we were expecting Baby #3.

Again, we did everything right. I am healthier than I have been in years. I went right to the doctor, and my 1st check up was awesome. On May 19th, I went for my first prenatal ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy and how far along I was. Everything was absolutely fine. Eleven days later, while out on an anniversary date with my husband, all hell broke loose.

I hadn’t been feeling well for a few days, feeling tired and achy, but chalked it up to 1st trimester pregnancy issues. Upon arrival at the restaurant, I got hit with excruciating abdominal pain in the lower right quadrant, vomiting and chills. I called my OB, who said to get my ass to nearest ER, fearing an ectopic pregnancy. My husband refused to take me to Jamaica or Brookdale, so we ended up at Beth Israel Kings Hwy. They gave me dilaudid and zofrain, which stabilized me, and performed two pelvic ultrasounds, and a renal ultrasound (fearing kidney stones). They found a cyst on my right ovary, which apparently was supposed to be there, but couldn’t figure out what was causing the pain. Feeling out of their depth, they transferred me all the way uptown, to Mount Sinai.

The doctors at Mount Sinai sent me for an MRI, fearing the pain was coming from acute appendicitis. (MRIs are safer than CAT scans for preggos). The MRI revealed that it wasn’t my appendix. It was my right ovary, which had twisted around the cysts (yes, plural), and that at least one cyst had become necrotic. At that point, it became a matter of when, not if, I’d need surgery.

They took me in for laproscopic surgery, to prevent the ovary from rupturing and to stop me from becoming septic. In the end, they had to remove the entire ovary and the cysts, as the ovary itself was in torsion and had become necrotic.

At first, everything was fine. A post-op ultrasound at the hospital revealed a strong fetal heartbeat. Three days later, at my follow-up OB appointment, again, we had a strong fetal heartbeat, and even my doctor felt that we were in the clear, that the baby was ok. Until about 7:00 that night, when I started spotting. And again at 2:30 am, when the blood flow was heavier. By 5:00 am, when I began to pass clots, even my husband, ever the optimist, had to admit something was wrong.

Frantic early morning phone calls to my doctor, and to both my biological sister, and my unbiological sister and her husband for one of them to come and stay with my little guy while I went to the hospital AGAIN. My UBS getting to my house in ten minutes, and holding me while I shook and cried on the toilet, blood just flowing out of me. My husband breaking every traffic law in Brooklyn to get me to the hospital, and having an attendant inquire, when we asked for a wheelchair, if my water had broken yet. The anger of my doctor at the hospital for giving me a run-around, and then LOSING me so he couldn’t find me. The pity and sympathy in his resident’s eyes when he informed me that I had had a complete miscarriage, but “no products of conception remained”, so I wouldn’t need a DNC. The utter anguish, that no words can truly express.

And all I could think was, “But why? I did everything right this time”.

Today was the first time in over a week I felt well enough to clean my house and make dinner. It was, for all intents and purposes, a NORMAL day. Only I don’t know what ‘normal’ is any more. How do I move on? How do I go back to what I was?

A lot of people would not tell me my baby died. I was only 9 weeks along, and the child would not have been viable outside the womb. But I heard her heartbeat. I talked to her and sang to her and rubbed my belly in the night, telling her how much she was loved and how much she was wanted. And I lost her. Regardless of what the future holds, if we have another child, she was always be missing from my life. I will mourn on what would have been her birthday in December, and I will always hold her close to my heart. I will not forget the nine precious weeks she lived inside me, and heard my heartbeat from the inside.

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Mommy Rant

My New Year’s Resolution was to try and not let stupid people and/or their actions upset me so much, especially considering there’s not much I can do to fix/change them. However, this is an issue that’s been pissing me off for 15+ years, and I’ve had it.

I’ve had it with people who think they know what’s best in raising a child. Guess what? What works for one parent may or may not work for another. Guess what else? Parents are human beings and we make mistakes. My kids didn’t come with any fucking instructions and neither did yours. Its a learning process, and we should be empowering one another instead of being judgmental assholes.

And don’t even get me started on the people who have NO children (meaning they are not raising children full-fucking-time) who seem to think that they know what’s best, where you’re making mistakes, and how you can ‘improve’ your child. Or, my favorites, “MY children would never behave like that”, or “I would never allow ‘XY’ around my children”. 

Let me tell you something, sweet cheeks: when you’re up to your ass in toddler snot, interfering relatives, dirty laundry, a living room full of toys, a rebellious teenager, and picky eaters, when you’d kill to take an uninterrupted shower or take a piss in peace, you’d be surprised what you give in to with your kids and what goes on around them. When your toddler doesn’t want to eat the healthy meal you’ve prepared, throwing said meal all over the room, & see how fast you give in to a steady diet of chicken nuggets and pizza, as long as they’re fed. When your teen doesn’t want to clean their room after year-long battles, see how fast you give up, as long as there are no bugs and it doesn’t spill out of said bedroom. You learn to pick and choose your battles. Yes, your toddler can take 6,000,000 stuffed animals to bed with him, as long as there’s no chance of suffocation and it means he goes to bed on-time, giving you an hour or so of peace before you collapse. Yes, your teen can get those dorky-looking headphones, if it means you don’t have to listen to their crappy music. Yes, your son can have a Barbie and your daughter can have a Monster Truck because guess what? They’re only fucking toys, and they make your kids happy.

And it goes without saying that yes, you will let that giant dog slobber all over your baby’s face, if it means that happy, uncontrollable laughter from your offspring. Yes, you will watch YouTube videos of funny cats all day, if it makes your three year old giggle maniacally. Yes, you will tell the same family stories over and over again, if it means that belly-chuckle comes out of your tween. And yes, you will sit through yet another viewing of some slapstick comedy to see your teen laugh and finally understand the jokes.

In other words, walk a mile in another parent’s shoes (or ANY parent, if you’re one of those non-children-having, self-righteous, know-it-alls) and THEN tell me you know exactly what everyone is doing wrong in raising their kids.

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Adventures in Sleep Training Part Three

September 13, 2013

Well, he fell asleep. It took 30 minutes of screaming but he’s out cold. Hopefully this trend gets better and he’s on a schedule by Monday night.

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Adventures in Sleep Training Part Two

September 13, 2013

OK, I officially feel like the worst mother in the world. My three year old is in his room, screaming his head off, crying for me. It is officially 9:05 pm, EST. Let’s see how long I last with him screaming.

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Adventures in Sleep Training – Part One

September 13, 2013

So, this weekend, while my husband is off gallivanting in Las Vegas, I will be home, attempting to start sleep training our three year old. (Sleep training is a nice way of saying I’m going to put him in his room at a certain time,  and let him cry it out for however long it takes him to get the idea that it’s bedtime)

He WAS on a strict schedule of a 9:30 pm bedtime, until about six months ago. One night, he just flipped out at the idea of going into his bedroom. Figuring it was just a one-time thing, we allowed him to cuddle with his dad on the couch until he fell asleep.

One-time thing, my ass. Every night, for the last six months, this child has been falling asleep on the couch with his father, always after 11 pm, no less. What other three year old is allowed to go to bed that late? Very often, if it’s after MIDNIGHT, and Goddess help us if he naps during the day, because then he doesn’t fall asleep until after 2 am!! This nonsense has seriously affected my marriage, my mental and physical health, and my own sleep habits, as well as my husband’s. We rarely get a full, unbroken night’s sleep, because we’re waking up in the middle of the night to take our son off the couch and put him in his own bed.

My previous attempts to sleep train him have been foiled by my ever-permissive husband, who cannot stand to see or hear our son cry. The few times I attempted to let him cry it out in the last six months resulted in my husband going to get him within 10 minutes, thus making himself the favored parent, and me the evil, sadistic disciplinarian. He loves to tell me that I enjoy ‘torturing’ our son, and that I love to hear him cry.  (That does wonders for my self-esteem, let me tell you, especially since our son is a total Daddy’s boy.) With Hubby in Vegas until late Monday night, I may actually be able to get him on a set schedule – if Daddy doesn’t blow it when he gets home.

My diabolical plan is as follows – for the next few nights (tonight, Saturday, Sunday & Monday), we will be following a fairly set time schedule:

  • Dinner will be between 6:30 & 7:00 (this will make it easier on weeknights, as that’s what time we usually eat).
  • Bath will be around 8.
  • Any last minute snacking will be before 8:45.
  • Diaper change right before bed.
  • Bed time will be 9:00.
  • Regardless of what time he actually falls asleep, I will be waking him by 9:00 each morning.

I’m hoping four days/nights is enough to fix six months’ worth of sleeping problems. I’m hoping that my husband and I will finally get some ‘us’ time back, that my fifteen year old son won’t feel obligated to stay up on the weekends in order for my husband and I to get some rest, and that we can all go back to as ‘normal’ as its possible for us to be.

Wish me luck!!

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A Response to Robert A. Hall’s “I’m 74 and I’m tired”

***author’s note: It was brought to my attention that the original post was written by former Massachusetts state senator Robert A. Hall, not Bill Cosby, so this has been edited for content. However, regardless of who actually wrote the original piece, my words still stand.***

“I’m 35 and I’m Fed Up”

So, Robert A. Hall is 74 and tired. Well, I’m 35 and I’m fed up. I’m sick and tired of people like Mr. Hall.

In his rant, he yammers on about putting in 50 hour weeks, not calling in sick in 40 years and having a ‘reasonable salary’. Well, I guess having a Senator’s salary could be called “reasonable”. Not in any world *I* live in, but maybe in his.

He argues against himself in the first two paragraphs. In his opening statement, he discusses the economy, and his possible mistake in retiring (because the very nice retirement package elected officials get isn’t enough for you). In the very next paragraph, he bitches about having to “spread the wealth” to people “too lazy to earn it”. Did it ever occur to you that they’re NOT too lazy, but are victims of the horrible economy? Or are you too busy crying and blowing your nose on all that cash?

And I hate to tell you this but any and every religion gets warped by extremists, not just Islam. Or did you forget the Spanish Inquisition and the Crusades? These are just two examples of how Christianity, which is most certainly a religion of peace (Jesus was the original hippie – peace and love, man), has succumbed to the need for POWER – not faith, not love, not peace – but POWER, especially through FEAR. Specifically, the Catholic Church, through its fear of women, has subjugated them for CENTURIES. Just as true Christians follow the teachings of Christ – “love one another as I have loved you” – so too, do true Muslims follow the teachings of Muhammed. Here are a few examples:

On Education (since you refer to the burnings of schools for girls): “Seeking knowledge is a religious obligation for every Muslim (male or female).” (Sunan Ibn Mâjah, Sunan Al-Bayhaqî)

On Being Judgmental: “Do not search for (the faults of others), for if anyone searches for (others) faults, God will search for his.” (Sunan Abî Dawûd)

On Equality: “There is no superiority for an Arab over a non-Arab, nor for a non-Arab over an Arab, nor for a fair-skinned person over a person with dark skin, nor for a dark-skinned person over a person with fair skin. Whoever is more pious and God-fearing is more deserving of honour.” (Musnad Ahmad)

And Mr. Hall, you really should do your research before you open your mouth. You go on about Saudi Arabia and its intolerance of the establishment of houses of worship of other faiths within its boundaries. Saudi Arabia is an Islamic theocratic monarchy. Unlike the United States, in which freedom of religion is written into our Constitution, Saudi Arabia (and Iran, Sudan, Yemen, Afghanistan, United Arab Emirates, Pakistan, Malaysia, and Mauritania) follow religious law as secular law, albeit sometimes distorted from the original teachings of Muhammed, just as many a Christian rule is distorted from the earliest lessons of Christ.

Furthermore, in case you’ve been living under a rock, the extreme weather changes that have occurred within the last decade – all over the world – are a result of global warming that environmental scientists have been predicting. However, if you prefer being a selfish old fool, and don’t want to leave a better world for your grandchildren and great grandchildren, by all means, don’t “lower your living standard” in order to reduce your carbon footprint.

Moreover, you should consider yourself damn lucky that addiction has never reared its ugly head in your condescending little world. Maybe no germ rushed out of a dark alley and forced the drugs into these people, but you have no idea what it’s like to be at war with your own body, and know of no other way out than the oblivion that a chemical fix can bring.

Additionally, how dare you judge people with piercings and tattoos, unjustly accusing them of deliberately decorating their bodies in order to make themselves unemployable? These are our bodies, and we can do with them as we please. It is prejudice like yours that perpetuates the myth that people with tattoos and piercings are delinquents and a burden on society. I hate to disrupt your illusions, but many of today’s most successful professionals (doctors, lawyers, teachers, to name a few) have body modifications and are NOT living off the government.

I do give you credit for having a strong work ethic and, apparently, even stronger self-control. That’s all too rare among people of all generations. And I agree with you about people with a sense of entitlement. To quote Ani DiFranco, “I have earned my disillusionment. I have been working all of my life. And I am a patriot. I have been fighting the good fight.”

However, you end your rant with “But I’m also glad to be 74. Because, mostly, I’m not going to have to see the world these people are making. I’m just sorry for my granddaughter and their children. Thank God I’m on the way out and not on the way in.” To be blunt, we don’t need people like you in this world. We need positive people, not negative. We need people who can see the joy in life and not the despair. We need those who have faith that we CAN make it better, instead of bitching that it’s all going down the drain.

So, respectfully, Mr. Hall: Sayonara. This planet doesn’t need you – or your prejudice, hatred and anger.

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Keeping Each Other Safe

This is a post that’s been simmering in the back of my brain for awhile now, but I finally have the time to sit down and write it.

First, a definition of terms: “S.T.D.” stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease.  “S.T.I.” stands for Sexually Transmitted Infection.  These terms are not interchangeable.

  • An STI is defined as an “invasion of and multiplication in bodily tissue by a microorganism (eg, bacterium, virus, protozoan) that is usually (more than half the time) passed from one person to another during intimate bodily contact meant to give or derive sexual gratification”.
  • An STD is defined as “pathology (i.e., damage) with or without symptoms secondary to an infection that is usually (more than half the time) passed from one person to another during intimate bodily contact meant to give or derive sexual gratification.”

(Both definitions are courtesy of http://www.medinstitute.org/public/132.cfm)

By these definitions, all STDs are STIs, but not all STIs are STDs.

With me so far? Good.

If we accept these definitions as true, and I happen to, then viruses like HIV, HPV, & HSV are all considered STDs. This is really inconsequential to the true matter at hand, but this is what I want to make very clear:

  • All three of the above are viruses with no cure.
  • All three of the above can be dormant for months, years at a time.
  • All three of the above can be transmitted between partners during sex without the infected party showing symptoms.

Now, given all this information, where the hell do people get off NOT informing prospective or even current partners that they are carriers for an STD?? I’m not talking about people who don’t KNOW they have an STD. I’m talking about the people who are aware of it, and KNOWLINGLY engage in sexual encounters without informing their partner. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve been an almost-victim. A man I was involved with knew he’d been exposed to HPV, and purposely lied to me, and to others, about his ex’s status. I was lucky; I tested negative and continue to. Others weren’t so lucky. Two close friends were poked, prodded and given unnecessary procedures, endangering their chances of conceiving children, because they tested positive. This man was the only common denominator, considering BOTH women had been in long-term, monogamous relationships prior to being involved with him.

This happens more often than people seems to think and that it why it is SO important to use protection AND get a clean bill of health from prospective partners. No protection is 100%, so that clean bill of health can go a long way. And with the Rapid Testing many doctors and hospitals now have access to, you can go and get tested in a flash.

I know; it’s not wild. It’s not passionate. It’s not romantic or kinky. However, it IS practical. And when in doubt, don’t do it. Just as a submissive would not get involved with a dominant she didn’t have faith in, and vice versa, so men and women and everything in between should not get sexually intimate with someone they don’t trust.

My main point: be safe out there. And make sure your playmates and partners are safe too. Be responsible for you and the well-being of those you are intimate with.  Protect each other.

“Nowadays, you can do anything that you want—anal, oral, fisting—but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.”
Slavoj Žižek

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I am Woman

I am a woman. I am a mother, a sister, a daughter. I am a niece, a godmother, a granddaughter, a fiancé. I am a friend, a confidant, a shoulder to lean on. I am a teacher, a Pagan, a priestess, an artist. I am a liberal, tree-hugging hippie. I am a New Yorker and a United States citizen. And I am a feminist, and I DEMAND my EQUAL rights.

The word “feminist” means many things to many different people. Some feminists are quite conservative. Some are religious. We don’t all have the same political or spiritual ideologies. What MOST of us DO have, however, is this nagging thought in our heads that women are equal to men. When it started, that’s all women wanted: the same rights and opportunities as men, to be treated as equals, to be afforded the same education and protection UNDER THE LAW as men, to not be held as property or inferior to men.

Unfortunately, it is a fight that will most likely never truly end, especially in this patriarchal world society.  And now, more than ever, it is obvious that the extreme right has been quietly lying in wait to take our rights away.

Arizona legislators (not doctors, not nurses, not any type of medical personnel AT ALL) have now placed the beginning of a woman’s pregnancy at two weeks before conception, essentially when she ovulates, in a move designed to further limit the amount of time a woman can legally obtain an abortion. Arizona has also pushed legislation to defund Planned Parenthood, which would drastically reduce many women’s access to birth control, mammograms, family planning counseling and gynecological health care, including PAP smears and STI testing. In Arizona alone, the amount of anti-woman legislation that has passed is abominable. Restrictions on birth control, abortion and health care service are popping up all over the place.

In Tennessee, a bill has been passed that criminalizes miscarriage. Again, no medical personnel were consulted on this. If they had been, legislators would have had to accept that 50% of pregnancies miscarry naturally, before the embryo stage is even reached. It is nothing the woman has done or could have prevented. Many times, miscarriage is a sign that the zygote would not have thrived. Now, according to this bill, women could be held criminally responsible for, what is for many, a catastrophic event that they had no control over.

In Nebraska, women have been forced to carry their STILLBORN (i.e. dead) fetus to term because of the anti-abortion laws in that state.

Federally, “The Ultrasound Informed Consent Act (S.2075 in the 110th Congress/H.R.649 in the 111th) was introduced by anti-choice legislators effectively mandating that all women seeking abortion services undergo an ultrasound, even if not medically necessary”. And, to add to that, “In the 112th Congress, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) introduced the Heartbeat Informed Consent Act (H.R.3130). This bill expands upon the Ultrasound Informed Consent Act by including a provision that would force the woman to listen to the fetal heartbeat before receiving abortion care after the eighth week of pregnancy.” A mandatory, non-consensual, invasive, unnecessary medical procedure that the women will have to PAY for, in order to try and convince them not to have an abortion? What are we coming to?

There is a War on Women, people, and it’s be led by religious, right-wing conservative Republicans. Yes, there are Democrats mixed in there, too, but for the most part, the legislators who want to take away our rights, who want to let the law and the church have a say in what we do with OUR bodies, are white, upper-class, religious, Republican MEN who will never suffer a miscarriage (and be penalized for it), who will never know the agony of having to deliver their stillborn baby, who will never know the fear of being unable to pay for medical care, who will never be pregnant. Don’t let them kick us back to the 19th century. Rise up, use your voice and don’t let them win.

“If you’re not outraged, then you’re not paying attention.”

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Strange Sexual Customs Through Out the World

Sexual intercourse, as defined by Merriam Webster, is “heterosexual intercourse involving penetration of the vagina by the penis” or “intercourse (as anal or oral intercourse) that does not involve penetration of the vagina by the penis.”

This is the common definition, generally accepted through out the world. But what about sexual customs from around the world? The different quirks of the diverse cultural and religious groups across the globe? Trust me, there are some weird ones out there!

 1. The Great Rite

Pagans have been long misunderstood, with naysayers attributing rites and rituals to Pagan practices that simply don’t exist. The perpetuations of myths such as sexual orgies with Satan and bestiality taking place among Pagan covens have irreparably damaged the reputation of legitimate faiths.

However, many Pagan religious DO practice a form of sexual spirituality. Very common among Pagans, and Wiccans in particular is the Great Rite. The Great Rite is defined as “the symbolic sexual union of the Goddess and the God which is enacted at Beltane (May 1st) in most traditions, and at other Sabbats in many others.” This union is symbolized through ritual by placing the athame (double edged throwing knife), which represents the phallus, inside the chalice or cauldron, which represents the womb.

The Great Rite is also known as the “Sacred Marriage”. It an actual sexual union between the high priest and high priestess of the coven, used in ritual to represent the sexual union between the Goddess and the God.

2. Pon

Pagans are not the only ones in the world who practice some sort of sexual spirituality. In Indonesia, they celebrate a holiday called Pon. Seven times a year, celebrants make a pilgrimage to Java, to a sacred mountain, to perform a ceremony of good fortune through intercourse. To receive such blessings, participants must spend the night having sex with someone other than their husband or wife. However, according to tradition, their wishes will only come true if they have sex with the same person during all seven celebrations.

3. Haiti

If you travel to Haiti, to the waterfalls of Saut d’Eau, during the month of July, you may witness a quite risqué ritual. Voodoo practitioners make this journey each summer to worship the goddess of love. Pretty normal stuff right?

Wrong. Picture a bunch of buck-naked people twisting and wriggling around in mud mixed with the blood of sacrificed animals–cow and goat heads are thrown into the mix. I’m sure there’s nothing like it if you’re an exhibitionist.

4. France

France has long been considered one of the most romantic countries in the world. Millions of newlyweds flock there for their honeymoons. Nevertheless, I have to wonder if they take those vows seriously once they get there. Here’s why: 41% of French adults have admitted to participating in an orgy and 27 percent of them have engaged in partner swapping. Forget the City of Lights; Paris may very well be the City of Swingers.

5. Romania

Looking for a nice Romanian girl to love, honor and receive fellatio from? Not gonna happen.

Decent and upright women in Romania do not perform oral sex. Even if they wanted to, their lovers probably wouldn’t let them Apparently, in Romania, oral sex is something that only prostitutes, and their respective Johns, participate in. It’s considered degrading for a woman to give head. Sucks to be those men, pun intended.

6. Temporary Marriage

We all know that Muslim practices are among some of the strictest regarding sexual intercourse and the relationships between men and woman. For instance, Muslim couples are only allowed to have sex in missionary position. It’s considered gross and degrading for a man to ask anything other position from his wife. The Koran also disapproves of any type of intercourse in which the head or rear end face Mecca.

However, in certain Muslim countries, for instance, Iran, a young couple who would like to have sex before they’re ready to marry can request a “temporary marriage”. They are allowed to pay for a short ceremony, with a written contract dictating the amount of time they will be “married”. Once this is done, they can fuck like bunnies without contradicting Islamic law. I know a lot of people here in America who probably wish we had something similar!

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Save the Drama for Your Mama

I need to make one thing quite clear: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. I have reached a point in my life where it doesn’t really matter to me what most people think of me. I value the opinions of very few people in this world, because I know them to be as brutally honest as I am, and to not pull punches with me if they think I’m screwing up. There are very few people in my life that can get away with this type of action because a) it doesn’t happen often and b) they usually help me see things from another perspective.

Having said that, I REFUSE to sit idly by while others judge and question my choices. If  you don’t like said choices, that is YOUR problem, not mine. I don’t presume to sit in judgment of anyone else in their choices. My motto is pretty much “live and let live”. If someone I love is TRULY being a danger to themselves or others, I will step in, but on a day-to-day basis, I prefer that my loved ones have minds of their own, and make their own decisions. This is because I KNOW I can’t control and/or fix everything and everybody. People need to make their own mistakes and learn or not learn from them, creating their own path through life. It’s about what’s right for THEM, not me.

If you know me at all, you know that I don’t make many decisions lightly. While I am, by no means, perfect, I tend to try to see things from every side, the Devil’s Advocate if you will. And if you know that little tidbit of information, you know that I don’t take well to having my choices questioned, by ANYONE. I think long and hard about the people in my life, and if I think you’re a danger to me, physically, emotionally or psychically, even after having been confronted by these truths, I will kick your butt to the curb faster than you can say, “HUH!?”

I put distance between myself and those I don’t want in my life, BUT I do NOT begrudge other friends and acquaintances their relationships with people I consider unhealthy for ME. I have NEVER asked anyone to choose between me and someone I don’t much like. If they’re as toxic as I believe them to be, my friends will eventually come to the same conclusion. If not, it’s THEIR life, not mine. I would never presume myself to be more important in someone’s life than someone else. I don’t like ultimatums given to me, and I don’t give them to others. If this is your deal, then you don’t belong in my life.

~*~END RANT~*~

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