Momma Mayhem

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Mommy Rant

on 01/15/2014

My New Year’s Resolution was to try and not let stupid people and/or their actions upset me so much, especially considering there’s not much I can do to fix/change them. However, this is an issue that’s been pissing me off for 15+ years, and I’ve had it.

I’ve had it with people who think they know what’s best in raising a child. Guess what? What works for one parent may or may not work for another. Guess what else? Parents are human beings and we make mistakes. My kids didn’t come with any fucking instructions and neither did yours. Its a learning process, and we should be empowering one another instead of being judgmental assholes.

And don’t even get me started on the people who have NO children (meaning they are not raising children full-fucking-time) who seem to think that they know what’s best, where you’re making mistakes, and how you can ‘improve’ your child. Or, my favorites, “MY children would never behave like that”, or “I would never allow ‘XY’ around my children”. 

Let me tell you something, sweet cheeks: when you’re up to your ass in toddler snot, interfering relatives, dirty laundry, a living room full of toys, a rebellious teenager, and picky eaters, when you’d kill to take an uninterrupted shower or take a piss in peace, you’d be surprised what you give in to with your kids and what goes on around them. When your toddler doesn’t want to eat the healthy meal you’ve prepared, throwing said meal all over the room, & see how fast you give in to a steady diet of chicken nuggets and pizza, as long as they’re fed. When your teen doesn’t want to clean their room after year-long battles, see how fast you give up, as long as there are no bugs and it doesn’t spill out of said bedroom. You learn to pick and choose your battles. Yes, your toddler can take 6,000,000 stuffed animals to bed with him, as long as there’s no chance of suffocation and it means he goes to bed on-time, giving you an hour or so of peace before you collapse. Yes, your teen can get those dorky-looking headphones, if it means you don’t have to listen to their crappy music. Yes, your son can have a Barbie and your daughter can have a Monster Truck because guess what? They’re only fucking toys, and they make your kids happy.

And it goes without saying that yes, you will let that giant dog slobber all over your baby’s face, if it means that happy, uncontrollable laughter from your offspring. Yes, you will watch YouTube videos of funny cats all day, if it makes your three year old giggle maniacally. Yes, you will tell the same family stories over and over again, if it means that belly-chuckle comes out of your tween. And yes, you will sit through yet another viewing of some slapstick comedy to see your teen laugh and finally understand the jokes.

In other words, walk a mile in another parent’s shoes (or ANY parent, if you’re one of those non-children-having, self-righteous, know-it-alls) and THEN tell me you know exactly what everyone is doing wrong in raising their kids.


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